Brawl: a road to god knows... adventure!

PAGE ONE

PANEL ONE

The story opens with a close-up on a crayon-type sketch of a big bruising super villain holding something over his head (this something is actually a “no parking” sign, but it shouldn’t be clear that this is what it is).  This is a child’s drawing and this panel should reflect that.  So simple shapes in the style of the drawings by kids in books like Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

PANEL TWO

We pull back a bit to see the same sketch but this time with Li’l Marie’s hand holding a crayon.  We can still see her sketch; she’s just filling it out a bit more.

PANEL THREE

And then back a bit more to see Li’l Marie concentrating hard, brow creased and tongue out at the side of her mouth as she focuses all of her attention on the drawing in front of her. 

PANEL FOUR

Then we pull right out and go with a bird’s eye shot of Li’l Marie sitting in her kitchen.  She’s wearing PJs (simple print design).  Her Mom, Betty, is over at the sink doing dishes.  Betty looks plump but healthy and this should contrast fairly strongly with what she’ll look like in road.  These are better times for her and her mileage hasn’t caught up with her yet.

1.Betty:  It’s almost bedtime, sweetie.

PANEL FIVE

Marie frowns as she looks at her Mom.  Betty, towel over one shoulder, is leaning on the table.  The two of them should be in the panel with Betty in the foreground watching her daughter.

2.Marie:  Aw, Moooooooommmmmmmm…I’m not really tired.  C’mon…

PAGE TWO

PANEL ONE

Betty smiles at her daughter.  There’s no hint of the damage that her teeth will later undergo.  She looks healthy and happy.

1.Betty: Uh-uh.  You can stay up for a bit longer and then I wanna see you in your bedroom.  I’m going to go and watch some TV and I’ll come tuck you in about 20 minutes.  That means teeth brushed and everything, young lady.

PANEL TWO

Marie isn’t really paying that much attention to her Mom.  She’s already back to focusing on her drawing and her Mom’s a bit of an afterthought. 

2.Marie:  Ok, ok…

PANEL THREE

This panel, along with the rest on this page, need to convey to the reader that Marie really is tired.  She’s been kinda bluffing with her Mom, but as soon as Betty leaves the kitchen, Marie starts to crash as the sleepies come on full bore.  What I’m thinking is that each panel should be drawn from the same angles; Marie just slowly collapses into sleep by the end.

With this panel, she’s still fairly perky as she concentrates on her drawing.  She’s sitting up fairly straight and her legs and feet are intertwined around the front legs of her chair.  Maybe some action lines around the crayon to show her still drawing furiously.

PANEL FOUR

This one, again the same as the previous, shows her getting sleepy.  She’s leaning with her chin in her left hand and her back is more arched.  Her eyes are droopy and the crayon is barely moving (very few action lines).  One leg is still wrapped around a chair leg but the other is hanging limply above the floor.

PANEL FIVE

Same shot as the last two panels.  This time Marie is really slumping into the table.  The crayon isn’t moving at all (so no action lines) and both her legs are hanging limply.  No movement at all.  Her eyes should be almost closed.

PANEL SIX

A close-up on the crayon sketch (similar to panel two on page one).  This time, though, her hand is open and the crayon is laying an inch or two away.  Her hand should be partially obscuring the sketch.  She’s out like a light.

PAGE THREE

PANEL ONE

This is a splash page that doubles as the credit page.  It, as well as everything else over the next few pages, needs to be a bit dreamlike.  I can do that with the credits as well (maybe a “fluffy” or “fuzzy” effect around everything).  The idea that needs to come across is that this is a dream.  Not real.  One option would be to have everything that nears the edges of the page “fade out” into sketchiness.  No hard lines at this point to try and suggest a dreamlike state.  I could do something similar with the panel borders.  Not hard and fast but rather loose and wriggly.  I may need to look at some Little Nemo in Slumberland to get the idea.

I don’t know if the reader will understand that this is Marie’s sketch come to life, but the pose should be similar to what she was working on over the previous two pages.  Just more realistic.

So Bruiser, the big brawler that Marie was drawing, is standing on a typical city street, holding the ‘no parking’ sign high over his head.  Good, dramatic shot with lots of wreckage around him – he’s been hard at work!  Smashed up cars and building windows in the background, smoke rising from them.  And no one else in sight.  A low Horizon Line might work best here since it would make him look even more powerful. 

The credits should be along the bottom.  If it wasn’t a dream, I’d probably make him stand on them.  In this case, though, that would make them far too concrete.  Another option would be to put the credits in the sky, whimsy like and airy.
 
PAGE FOUR

PANEL ONE

This is a long shot with a low Horizon Line looking down the street.  Marie is floating on a cloud.  She’s still wearing the same PJs we saw her in over the first two pages.

PANEL TWO

We close in on her.  The camera is actually above her, looking down, and we see her back and then the ground below.  She’s crouching on the cloud as she watches Bruiser far below her.

PANEL THREE

This should be a dramatic action shot, similar to the cover of John Byrne’s Alpha Flight #5.  Marie leaps off the cloud and spins and somersaults as she lands on the ground.  Totally improbable, but it’s a dream.  What I’d like is the final pose to be drawn solidly (and in the foreground) while we see more “ghostly” images of her in sequence from the cloud to the final pose.  Gradually getting bigger since she winds up in the foreground.  This might work as either a longish panel or perhaps on an angle leading the reader’s eye from top left to lower right.

PANEL FOUR

This is a back shot of Marie as she stands heroically, in a contra postal pose (maybe a lowish Horizon Line) with her hands clenched in fists.  In the background we can see Bruiser.  Rubble and wreckage should be strewn around her feet.

1.Marie:  Hey, you!

PAGE FIVE

PANEL ONE

Close-up on Bruiser’s face, sneering in contempt and amusement.  He is not impressed at all by the little girl standing in front of him.  If it was Spider-man?  Maybe.  Supes?  Most likely?  But Li’l Marie?  Not a chance. 

PANEL TWO

This should be a fun little panel.  Marie is strongly in the foreground twisting away from her opponent.  Her arms are thrown up around her head and chest.  Bruiser is towering over her, roaring.  His mouth is open full as he screams at her.  I’m tempted to sketch out shock waves coming from his mouth and surrounding her.

1.SFX: ROOWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

PANEL THREE

This is a close-up on Marie.  She’s holding her nose with her left hand while she waves away his aroma with her right.  She’s not impressed.

2.Marie:  Oh, that’s horrible. Don’t you ever brush your teeth?

3.Marie:  And, c’mon, please stop smashing stuff.  Geez…who do you think you are?  That’s enough.

PANEL FOUR

This last panel should be a profile shot of them staring at one another.  I need a shot of the two of them in profile to really get a sense of their differences in scale.  Possibly with no panel borders at all and really no background.  Just rubble at their feet.

PAGE SIX

PANEL ONE

Really dramatic action shot here.  Bruiser clocks her with a huge upper cut that lifts Marie and sends her flying into a wall across the street.  Nice follow-through here – his fist should be way up and his waist and torso should be good and twisted.  He’s in the foreground while Marie is knocked into the background. 

One thing that might work is a similar thing to how she leaps off the cloud on page four.  So the final shot is her laying up against the wall, but there’s a few other drawings of her being hit and then skidding across the ground before that.

PANEL TWO

Close up on her face as she lays there for a second, eyes closed. 

PANEL THREE

Then we cut to a close-up on her eyes, glaring. 

PANEL FOUR

Marie is standing up, a bit hunched over, with a furious look on her face.  One sleeve of her jammies is torn and hanging limply off her shoulder.

1.Marie:  Right, then.

PANEL FIVE

Cut to a stunned close-up look on Bruiser’s face.

PANEL SIX   

Low Horizon Line shot of Marie sprinting hard right at the camera.  She should fill the panel and break the borders.

PAGE SEVEN

PANEL ONE

Good medium shot of Marie as she rears back with her right hand.  She’s smiling from ear to ear.

PANEL TWO

She hits him with a roundhouse punch that sends him flying into a car.  Strongly dynamic.  She’s in the foreground and we see Bruiser landing in the far background up against the car.

PANEL THREE

Close-up on a dazed Bruiser.  Perhaps “cartoony dazed” would work best here.  So ellipsical speedlines and little birdies or bells in the Warner Brothers tradition.  She got him good.

PANEL FOUR

Still the same close up but this time his expression turns to shock.  He’s looking down out of panel.

PANEL FIVE

Cut to a extreme close up on Marie’s fingers.  She digging them into his chest and belly.

PANEL SIX   

This pose should break into the other panels around it.  This is a dramatic shot as Li’l Marie presses Bruiser over her head.  The contrast between brawler and girl should be extreme.  Don’t have her arms fully stretched out – there should be some bend in her elbows as she’s still lifting him in this shot.  Arc her back and make sure she has one leg bent in front of her while the other leg is stretched out behind her.  Cool, contrasting shot.

PANEL SEVEN

Then a huge follow-through as she throws him into the sky.  We see him getting smaller and smaller before he disappears behind skyscrapers.

PAGE EIGHT

PANEL ONE

She wipes the “dust” off her hands and smiles to herself.  No background here.

PANEL TWO

Close up as she stifles a yawn, covering her mouth with her right hand.

PANEL THREE

Cut to her sitting on the ground, surrounded by rubble, with her back up against a mail box.  Her legs are sticking straight out in front of her and her head is leaning down, chin near her clavicles.

PANEL FOUR

We pull back into a bird’s eye long shot and see her napping on the street.  I want this to start bringing back reality around her and one way that might work is to start bringing the kitchen’s tile floor into one part of the drawing.  So maybe have the rubble fade out and be replaced by tiling one side of the drawing.

PANEL FIVE

Similar bird’s eye angle as the previous panel, but this time we’re firmly in the kitchen.  Marie is conked out on the kitchen table, sleeping on top of her drawing with her head on one arm.

PANEL SIX

We zoom in close and see that the sleeping girl is smiling.

FIN

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