The Old Crow: a road to god knows... adventure!

PAGE ONE

PANEL ONE

The opening of the story features an interplay between Li’l Marie, returning home from school, and a neighbourhood crow.  So this first panel shows a close-up on the crow’s feet as it perches on the “no parking” sign in front of Marie’s apartment building.  Goodly amount of detail on the claws and the lower part of the bird.

PANEL TWO

We pull back for an over-the-shoulder shot of the crow, strongly in the foreground and still perched on the sign, with Li’l Marie walking towards it and, by extension, us.  She’s wearing “coming home from school” clothing  (so backpack, jacket, you name it) and is in the middle-ground.  At this point, she’s oblivious to the crow and is just walking along, happy to be out of school. 

The background shouldn’t be full of details, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a few other kids with bags or backpacks in the background just to better convey the idea that school’s out for the day.

PANEL THREE

The next panel shows the same shot, but this time Marie is much closer and is now aware of the crow, staring up at it as she stands with her hands on her hips. 

1.Marie: Well, hello there, Mr. Crow.

PANEL FOUR

A close-up on the crow’s face, inscrutable in expression. 

PANEL FIVE

A medium shot of Marie (so waist-up), smiling up at the crow.

2.Marie:  Be that way, then, silly.

PANEL SIX

The crow stands on the top of the sign, its wings outstretched, as it readies itself to fly.  Good full body shot of the entire bird plus the top of the sign.

PANEL SEVEN

Marie stands strongly in the foreground, back to the reader, with the crow flying away in the middle ground.  It should be basically flying off to the horizon, alone in the sky. 

PAGE TWO

PANEL ONE

Marie is inside the entranceway of her apartment, taking off her jacket, with the backpack laying at her feet.  She’s pretty much at ease, happy to be home and happy to be out of school for the evening. 

PANEL TWO

This should be an establishing shot of the living room.  Marie is standing in the door way, in the foreground, backpack in one hand.  Probably a back three-quarter view of her.  Betty, her mom, is lying on the couch in the middle ground, asleep.  We should see enough to know that there are two entrances to the living room.  The entrance that Marie is standing near and the far one that leads to the bedrooms and the kitchen.

The coffee table is just before Betty and placed on top of it are a number of opened envelopes and other paper (bills) strewn around them.  There’s also, though it’ll be hard to give it much detail, an open bottle of medication near the paperwork.  The lid is lying close to the bottle.

PANEL THREE

Close-up on a very groggy Betty.  Her eyes are heavy and not super-healthy looking.  This is getting closer to the Betty that we’ll later see in the road to god knows…

1.Betty:  S-Shouldn’t you be at school, sweetie?

PANEL FOUR

Medium to close shot on a quizzical Marie, looking at her Mom somewhat oddly.  She’s not nervous here, but she is a little confused.

2.Marie:  Uh, mom, I’m just getting back…school’s done for the day.

PANEL FIVE

Betty has propped herself up on the couch, leaning on one arm to get a better look at her daughter.  She’s rubbing the other hand thoughtfully behind her neck.

3.Betty:  Oh, sorry.  I must have fallen asleep for longer then I meant to.  Figuring out money stuff always makes me sleepy.

PANEL SIX

Close-up on Marie, looking worried.

4.Marie:  Are you…ok?

PAGE THREE

PANEL ONE

Betty is standing in front of the couch near her daughter.  Not quite in each other’s personal space, but it would only take a sec to fix that.  We should see both of them in this panel, stretching across the top of the page.  It would actually help Page 5 if I can establish the far door frame in this panel, too.  That way, when Betty appears on that page, it won’t jar the reader all that much.  I’ll have to play with it a bit.

This is basically a “beat” panel, so they’re kinda of eyeing each other.  Marie should be looking away from her Mom, nervous about the situation. 

PANEL TWO

Medium shot of Betty, smiling at her daughter.

1.Betty:  Just tired.  So, you want some breakfa- oh, um, I mean a snack or something?

PANEL THREE

Marie is still unsure about all of this and kind of hugs one arm to her body with her other arm.  Nice, full-body shot of Marie.

2.Marie:  No, I’m not hungry.

PANEL FOUR

Betty, oblivious to her daughter’s confusion (or perhaps better, why she would be confused) is firing off on all cylinders.  Medium shot of the two of them.
   
3.Betty:  Well, I’m going to scoot to the kitchen and start getting supper ready.  How does spaghetti sound to you?  I’m sure when you start smelling the aromas your belly will start grumbling.

PANEL FIVE

Marie, feeling much better, smiles at that.  Close-up shot on her.

4.Marie:  Sure, mom, that would be great.

PAGE FOUR

PANEL ONE

This is a very quiet page design-wise.  It should echo a bit of what I did in Brawl with Marie falling asleep in the kitchen.  So, in the first panel, Marie is sitting on the couch as she begins to watch TV.  Her backpack is lying on the couch, near the envelopes and pill bottle. 

While I’m not hitting the reader over the head with it here, Betty is clearly leaving open medication around.  Not that Marie would take it, but it’s a subtle point that does need to be there.

PANEL TWO

These next few panels show her slowly getting comfortable, lying on a pillow and stretching out.  If the TV is shown at all, no dialogue should be coming from it.  This panel should show her leaning against the pillow but still sitting up fairly straight, maybe propped up with one elbow.  One leg is still up, bent at the knee.

PANEL THREE

This panel has her more plunked down, but with one knee still bent at the knee.  Both hands are behind her head as she watches the TV.

PANEL FOUR

This one has her totally at rest, both legs stretched out.  Her hands are still behind her head and she’s smiling noticeably. 

PANEL FIVE

This last panel should stretch across the bottom of the page.  Marie is reacting to the out of panel dialogue (see below).  Very clearly startled, she is sitting up and reacting.  So hands in mid-air with a “surprise” starburst around her head.  She is looking off panel, in the direction of the kitchen. 

1.Betty (OP):  Damn it!

PAGE FIVE

PANEL ONE

Marie is sitting up straight on the couch, head turned around and looking off panel.  Her expression is one of intense nervousness.  This should be a full body shot and should echo what was drawn on the previous page (keeping that visual tempo going).

PANEL TWO

Betty has re-entered the living room and is leaning against the far door frame, forcing a smile.  If I’ve established this right on page three, it shouldn’t be confusing.  But make sure the table and a few other details are there to try and show clearly where she is.

1.Betty:  Look, sweetie, I, um, I forgot that food is a little tight right now.  I-I’m just waiting to get a cheque in the mail and it…it hasn’t come in yet. 

2.Betty: So, I think…I think we’ll have to make do tonight, ok?  Supper won’t be fancy.

PANEL THREE

Close up on Marie, biting her lower lip. 

3.Marie:  Sure, that’s ok.

PANEL FOUR

Medium shot of Betty, smiling a bit more.  She was really worried that her daughter might not be happy.  But, of course, there’s more going on here then we really see at this point.

4.Betty:  Well, we still have some odds and ends.  I’ll put something together.  It just won’t be spaghetti this time around.  A bit more of a ‘Mom’s Special’ instead.

5.Betty:  I’ll call you when it’s ready.

PANEL FIVE

Marie has laid back against the pillow, stretching one leg out with the other one up.  She’s partially laying on her side with her left hand propping up her head, back to watching her shows.

PANEL SIX

Pretty much the same shot as P5, but Marie is looking out of panel towards the kitchen once again.

6.Betty (OP):  Marie?

7.Marie:  Yeah?

PANEL SEVEN

Betty is leaning in against the far door frame once again.  She’s not smiling at all this time.

8.Betty:  Actually, sweetie, I, uh, need to make a quick run to the corner store.  I won’t be long.

PANEL EIGHT

Marie looks up at her, worried.  Good close-up shot.

9.Marie:  Well, I’ll come with you.

PANEL NINE

Betty looks nervous about this.

10.Betty:  Well, uh, ok then.

PAGE SIX

PANEL ONE

This first panel should be reasonably large and dominate the page.  Not a full splash but perhaps half the page.  Mother and daughter are walking up the street holding hands looking, for all the world to see, like a happy mother and daughter.  Their conversation, however, is a little more stilted. 
 
The two should be walking towards the reader with a goodly number of “neighbourhood details” present to help ground the panel.  I’m kinda debating between one point and two point perspective here.  One point would be more dramatic and give the story a bit of a visual connection between the other two stories.  But I’ll thumbnail it out and see.

1.Betty: Did you have a good day at school today?

2.Marie: Yeah, it was ok.  Kelly and I hung out at lunch.  I’m thinking of going to her place on Saturday if that’s ok.

PANEL TWO

Close up on Betty, looking a little haggard. 

3.Betty:  Sure, sweetie, that’s fine. 

4.Betty:  Oh, wait, aren’t you seeing your dad this weekend?

PANEL THREE

Pull back to the two of them, still walking, with Marie looking quizzically at her Mom.

5.Marie:  No, that’ll be next weekend, Mom.  I just saw him on Sunday.

6.Betty:  Oh, right, of course.  Sorry, sweetie, I’ve got a headache and it’s making thinking a little hard.” 

7.Marie:  Oh.

PAGE SEVEN

PANEL ONE

The two are standing near the entrance of a little corner store, the same one we’ll later see in the road to god knows…  The panel should be wide enough to see the wise sign above the door, “Sam’s Grocery.” It’s a nice little connecting point that establishes that these stories are taking place in the same world.

1.Betty:  You go browse and I’ll pick up a few odds and ends.

PANEL TWO

Inside, we see Marie standing in front of the magazine rack while her Mom is in the background, partially obscured by a rack of potato chips.  Marie is busy flipping through a magazine, though we shouldn’t see much of what’s caught her eye.

PANEL THREE

Cut to her Mom standing in front of the cashier with the makings of a spaghetti dinner on the counter in front of her (so pasta, can of tomato sauce, a few vegetables, etc…).  An older man, smiling pleasantly, is the cashier.
Design-wise, he should be clean-shaven and balding.  No glasses, but heavy-set and wearing a “Sam’s Grocery” button up long-sleeved shirt.

2.Cashier:  That’ll be $8.67, Betty.

PANEL FOUR

Marie is holding her magazine but watching, off panel, the exchange between her Mom and the clerk. 

PANEL FIVE

These next few panels should all be from Marie’s point of view as she watches the transaction develop.  So, for each panel, Marie is solidly in the foreground with the exchange going on in the mid-ground.  Her back is to the reader, so we’re basically watching her watching them.

With this one, Betty is leaning in towards the cashier, perhaps even standing on the balls of her feet, conspiratorially. 

3.Betty:  I, uh, was hoping I could put this on my tab, Mike.  I’m just waiting for my cheque but it hasn’t come in yet.

PANEL SIX

This is pretty much the same shot as the previous panel. 

4.Cashier:  Well, Betty, you’ve already got a few things on it.

PAGE EIGHT

PANEL ONE

Still going with “the Marie in the foreground design” here.  Betty is rubbing one hand over her mouth and chin as she tries to plead with Mike.

1.Betty:  I know, but this will be the last time.  I promise.

PANEL TWO

Once again we have a similar set-up as above.  This time, though, Mike is looking over at Marie (so basically right at the reader). 

2.Cashier:  Ok, this time. 

3.Cashier:  But I need you to clear that tab as soon as you can.

PANEL THREE

Same set-up.  Betty has clasped both hands in front of her and is bending her knees a touch.  She is quite happy.  Maybe some action lines around her just to convey her expression.

4.Betty:  Oh, thanks Mike, that’s great.

PANEL FOUR

This is a close-up on a smiling Betty as she looks off panel towards her daughter.  This breaks the Marie/foreground design element, too.

5.Betty:  Time to go, sweetie.

PANEL FIVE

Extreme close-up on Marie’s eyes, looking very worried.

PAGE NINE

PANEL ONE

Betty and Marie are now back on the street, walking home holding hands.  Back shot of the two of them as they wander back home.  Overhead, the crow from page one is circling.

PANEL TWO

Thin panel that is a close-up on the crow.

PANEL THREE

Tight shot of Marie, looking up, as she spots the crow.  She’s smiling in recognition.  ‘Course, this could be a different crow, but in her mind it’s the same guy.

PANEL FOUR

We pull back to see the two of them, mother and daughter, in front of their apartment building.  Betty is already up a few steps while Marie has stopped at the bottom, one foot on the first step, while she looks over her shoulder at the crow.  The two are still holding hands so there’s a bit of stretching here. 
Betty is looking ahead and hasn’t noticed her daughter’s hesitation.

PANEL FIVE

Medium shot of Marie, half-turned towards the street as she watches the sky.  She is waving a small, quiet goodbye to the bird.  Betty is in the background, her back to us, still not noticing.

PANEL SIX

Both of them stand at the top of the stairs.  Betty is standing near the door to their apartment with her daughter a step or two behind her. This should be a low shot with the “camera” in one corner of the patio.  I want to be able to see the two of them here in a front three-quarter view.

PANEL SEVEN

Close-up on Marie.  She’s smiling, gently.

1.Marie:  I love you, mommy.

PAGE TEN

PANEL ONE

Betty has turned away from the door and is looking down at her daughter, smiling broadly. 

1.Betty:  I love you too, sweetie.  With all of my heart.

PANEL TWO

This panel should have no borders or background details.  Just Marie and Betty with white negative space around them.  The groceries are on the ground near Betty’s feet.  The two are facing one another. with Betty glasping her daughter’s hands in both of hers.  She’s leaning towards Marie, knees bent, but still somewhat above her.  Both are smiling broadly.

2.Betty:  Now let’s get inside and get some supper going.  I managed to get the fixings after all, so lets go get some spaghetti in your belly.

3.Marie:  You bet!

PANEL THREE

This last panel, about half the page, is an over-the-shoulder shot of the crow, perched once again on the “no parking” sign, looking towards the house.  The porch is empty of people and the apartment door is closed.

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