One of my very first long form interviews and one that I thought was lost! This was done way back in 2008 with James Hendricks, then host of Talk Ottawa here in Ottawa, Ontario. This interview meant a lot to me since I was basically just starting out and he and the producers of the show were very open and welcoming.
James and I chat about comics and graphic novels, the challenges of being an indy artist, and the changing face of technology and how that applies to comics. We also do a deep dive into my very first graphic novel, titled “the road to god knows…”, that deals with parental mental illness. In the case of that comic, I drew on a lot of my own experiences growing up with my mom; she was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was very young. We talk about that, too.
Oh! My art that was presented in the original video was pretty rough, so I decided to update it with art revisions I did some years ago.
In a
surprise (well, at least to me!) turn of events, I’ve received a
$4,000.00 grant from the City of Ottawa’s Arts Funding Program (the PDF announcement from the City is here). The
grant is in support of my ongoing comics project WOLF’S HEAD and
represents a significant step in my arts career. Why significant?
Well, bear with me here for a sec and I’ll try to explain.
As
I’ve struggled to cobble together an arts career, there have been a
number of obstacles that I’ve had to overcome. This is not unique
to me, unique to Canadian comic artists, unique to visual artists, or
unique to the arts in general. Despite certain stereotypes of artists
(“heads in the clouds,” blah, blah, blah), it’s quite a tricky
career to manage. There is not a lot of support “out there” for
artists, either. Most artists I know are forced to manage their
careers as best they can and there really isn’t a road map to help
along the way. That’s been very true for me. While a lot of words
come to mind to describe this — ‘challenging’
being a very good one — it just is what it is. And there is a
certain truism to the notion that by the time acknowledgement does
come (usually in the form of awards, accolades, and sales), the
artist doesn’t need as much support as they once did. That’s
definitely not true of me.
Let me say that again: That’s definitely not true of me.
It’s been a fight every step of the way. The first fight was simply to
become competent and that might have been the toughest battle of them
all. The learning curve, at least for me, has been extremely steep
with a lot of false starts and dashed hopes along the way. Then, the
next fight is to survive. Truth be told, that’s been tough, too.
Being pretty much a fringe artist at the best of times and a true Outsider most of the time meant that building awareness for my work has been a
never-ending struggle. Pragmatically speaking, surviving as an artist means generating an
income. In my case specifically, that primarily means selling my
comics. And that has never been easy.
As some folks know, I really had hopes that I AM STILL YOUR CHILD, the
documentary film I’m in, would help build awareness for my art.
That really hasn’t happened, at least so far, and the
disappointment was hard to place. That doesn’t mean I’m not proud
of my role in the film. Far from it! And I still think the film is
important for shedding light on parental mental illness, a taboo
subject to this day.
That said, as my wife is fond of saying, the film was ‘kindling’ for
my arts career and represented a milestone in its own right. While it
hasn’t changed awareness of my work in the larger comics community,
it has led to growing awareness in the local arts scene. I’m pretty
sure that I wouldn’t have been a finalist for the Peter Honeywell Award without it. And I certainly wouldn’t have won a CBC Trailblazer Award without it, too.
And
with today’s announcement of winning a grant from the City of
Ottawa, I’m pretty confident saying that it wouldn’t have
happened without the film and the other awards. One thing does lead
to another. And the grant is important from another point of view; it
really does give some much needed financial support for my comics
endeavours. As I’ve noted, being an artist is not an easy path and
every little bit of financial support helps. When a jury of my peers
determined that my application was worthy of financial support, my jaw dropped. And it’s taken a bit
of time for me to really get my head around it. I’m both honoured
and pleased as punch to receive it. And in these pandemic times we
live in, it is one helluva lift.
So yes, Von Allan Studio (that’s me, folks!) gratefully acknowledges
the financial support of the City of Ottawa. Boy, do I!
I'm one of the subjects of a documentary titled I AM STILL YOUR CHILD, dealing with parental mental illness. In conjunction with the film, a number of short videos have been released; kinda like extra features on a film. The below deals with coping strategies. In my case, my mom was dealing with schizophrenia and it led to some pretty rough experiences. Being able to escape into comics as well as sci-fi and fantasy really helped. Sarah and Jessy, two other subjects from the film, also talk about their strategies in the short.
The
entire short series can be viewed on the film's official Youtube page. They add up to
over 30 minutes of bonus content. While the documentary is only
available for streaming inside Canada right now, the short videos should be watchable anywhere in the world.
The filmmakers behind the documentary I'm involved in, I AM STILL YOUR CHILD, have released a number of short supporting videos that focus on different aspects of living with a parent struggling with mental illness. The one below deals with the financial impact of mental illness. Simply put: it ain't easy.
The entire video series can be viewed on their Youtube site and add up to over 30 minutes of bonus content. While the documentary is only available for streaming inside Canada right now, the short videos should be watchable anywhere in the world.
Well, this is pretty neat! Reporter Blair Crawford along with photographer Julie Oliver from the Ottawa Citizen did a feature story on yours truly. The story explores my childhood, my mom's struggle with mental illness (specifically schizophrenia), my graphic novel the road to god knows..., and the documentary film I'm involved in titled I AM STILL YOUR CHILD.
I should add that the online article also contains a short two minute video interview with me. Plus the great and mysterious Corbin makes a surprise guest appearance! I've embedded the video below:
Scans from the Ottawa Citizen are below:
And the interior page (the scan is a bit hard to read, but the full article can be found online here):
Update!
As it turns out, the Citizen's sister paper the Ottawa Sun also ran a story. This is pretty much the same thing, though there are a few minor differences. I'm not crazy about the headline, but pretty neat all the same.
As I noted previously, the filmmakers behind the documentary I AM STILL YOUR CHILD have released a number of short supporting videos, including the one embedded below. The entire series can be viewed on their Youtube site and add up to over 30 minutes of bonus content. While the documentary is only available for streaming inside Canada right now, the short videos should be watchable anywhere in the world.
In this short, the three subjects of the film (Sarah, Jessy, and myself) all talk about the repercussions of living with a parent who has a mental illness.
In conjunction with the documentary I AM STILL YOUR CHILD, the filmmakers have released a number of short supporting videos. The entire series can be viewed on their Youtube site and add up to over 30 minutes of bonus content. While the documentary is only available for streaming inside Canada right now, the short videos should be watchable anywhere in the world.
I embedded one of these shorts below. Titled "Maintaining a Relationship with the Ill Parent," it showcases all three subjects of the film. For my part, I talk about my mom and her sensitivity and compassion. And, as a special bonus, Corbin makes an appearance!
Continuing the series of background "process" art for the poster series for the documentary film "I AM STILL YOUR CHILD." Today's poster features a young girl handling her father's medication. I knew clarity would be a problem, so I decided to go with a low "eye level" or horizon line. In this case, right at the ground plane. Why? It allowed me to put the medicine bottle strongly in the foreground and hopefully clarify what's actually happening. It also allowed me to make the young girl slightly bigger (closer to the viewer) than a more normal eye level would allow.
In discussing it with Stéphanie Couillard, my contact at Catbird, we decided that it still might not be clear enough so we added dialogue for the father just to be safe. There are no "right" answers with this; sometimes you want to be subtle and suggestive and other times you want to be crystal clear. In this case, clarity was one of the most important criteria.
Again, here is the Final Press Version with logo designed by Sara Morley of Design Postimage:
Initial Rough Layout sketch (approximately 2 inches in height). You can also see that I was initially thinking of making it daughter and mother:
Slightly tighter but still very loose figures. And again, illustrated pretty small:
A tighter rough, though still very small. The father was giving me some drawing problems at this stage, though it works itself out soon enough:
Tighter pencils:
Tighter pencils along with perspective grid and background:
As noted yesterday, I was commissioned to create a series of posters for the documentary film "I AM STILL YOUR CHILD." Today I'm looking at the development of another poster for the film and the support website. This one is a good example of how the process develops from rough concept to final version.
My initial thinking was that I wanted contrast between a very upset girl in the foreground and an adult, possibly in trouble, who isn't even paying attention. Initially I thought she'd be starring at the girl, but not really seeing her. Later, I changed my mind and had the adult sitting with her back turned. As the process continued and I received feedback from Stéphanie Couillard, my main contact for the poster series for Catbird Productions, the poster evolved. You can see that in the following sketches and I think the piece is much stronger based on Stéphanie's comment.
Again, here is the Final Press Version with that great logo designed by Sara Morley of Design Postimage:
Initial Rough Layout sketch (as always, this is done very small, approximately 2 inches in height):
Slightly tighter but still very loose figures. And again, illustrated pretty small. You can also see that the foreground character is slightly off-balance here. It happens, but it's the kind of thing I correct as I go:
Tighter pencils:
Tighter pencils with that original concept of a "neutral" adult in the background:
This is where a number of things changed. A very different adult figure appears. She was roughed out and tightened separately and then digitally added into the piece. And the background finally shows up, too. Little bit of cheating here, but you can't tell. I hope!
I was commissioned to create a series of posters for the documentary film project (titled “I AM STILL YOUR CHILD”) that I've been involved in. The goal was to create a series of stand-alone pieces that feature characters dealing with parental mental illness. Unlike traditional comics, these wouldn't have a narrative save for that unifying theme. And they would also need to be very bold and graphic to catch the eye and presented in black and white to ease desktop printing. I'm pretty pleased with how they turned out. The full poster series can be found at the documentary's official website.
Beginning today, I'm going to go through the creation of a few of these posters. I was given a great deal of creative room by the production crew; they encouraged me to draw on my own thoughts and feelings, especially relevant given my own background with my mom's schizophrenia (developed more full in my graphic novel “the road to god knows...”). Some of these images were inspired directly from my own experiences while others were “pushed.” In other words, still drawn from my own life but dramatized to some extent.
The one below is a good example; I was very shy at school, especially at this age, but showing emotion was something I tried very hard not to do (though how successful I was in a different question). This girl, on the other hand, is very upset. That was something I tried very hard not to show at school.
What follows, then, is a pretty good breakdown of how this poster came together.
First, this is the Final Press Version with a terrific logo designed by Sara Morley of Design Postimage:
Initial Rough Layout sketch (very small, approximately 2 inches in height):
Tighter pencils (figures only; this is slightly deceptive since I drew each character separately and then digitally composed the image to finalize their positions):
Tighter pencils with loose backgrounds and perspective grid:
Final inked version with completed background:
I should add here that sometimes I do pretty tight background renderings and other times, like here, I keep it pretty loose and finalize in ink (albeit digital ink since I use Manga Studio EX 4 for inking). Manga Studio also allows for some really nice shortcuts for tones, hatching, "zipatones," and splatters. I've done them manually (the ol' toothbrush and ink immediately comes to mind for splatters) but I much prefer doing them digitally now.
This is a short (approximately 4 minute) CBC Arts profile on yours truly. In it, I discuss art and comics, growing up with a parent that's mentally ill, and also my process of making art. I should add that this short is actually part of a larger documentary, titled I AM STILL YOUR CHILD, that is available to stream anywhere in Canada right now. Information on viewing it in other parts of the world should be known soon. The documentary's official website is a good way to keep on top of this.
As noted in the accompanying CBC article, the documentary I AM STILL YOUR CHILD gave me an opportunity to revisit the artwork from my graphic novel the road to god knows.... This is mainly because the original graphic novel was published in 2009 and the film premiered in 2017. That's a long time and my art has grown and developed between those two dates. For those who'd like to learn a little more about this, I did a short essay discussing the changes (including direct comparisons with the art).
If the player doesn't work, you should be able to find the video here.
I've been fortunate enough to be involved in a documentary project focusing on the children of parents with mental illness (COPMI). It's a pretty amazing project and I've been thrilled to be involved. Megan Durnford, the writer and director, Katarina Soukup, the producer from Catbird Productions, Stéphanie Couillard, Alex Margineanu (cinematographer), Stéphane Barsalou (sound recorder), and the rest of the crew have brought an empathy to the film that is quite remarkable. There are still a lot of societal taboos regarding mental illness and I think this film might help challenge that.
So why did they get in touch with me? Well, my mom was diagnosed schizophrenic when I was quite young. I actually wrote and drew a graphic novel titled the road to god knows... that is an account (albeit fictionalized) of my experiences with my mom's mental illness and my growing awareness that she was not "okay." I didn't go the full autobiographical route for a number of reasons, but one of the main one's is that my mom died before I even started the comic and I wanted some emotional distance from the work and my own life.
The documentary uses quite a bit of my art through it, but I should note that I actually re-drew a number of pages specifically for the film (I'm going to do a follow-up post specifically on this subject in the near future).
The film will be airing on CBC Montreal through the documentary series Absolutely Quebec on Saturday, September 16th. It will have a wider release shortly after that. I'll update the website as I know more.
In the meantime, the trailer linked above really captures the tone of it very well. I think it's beautiful. For more on the film, keep an eye on the Facebook page and the official website.
This is a radio interview I did with Erin Ashley on CCKC radio in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia in the fall of 2009. We discuss my graphic novel “the road to god knows…” and how Children of Parents with a Mental Illness (or COPMI) cope. Or at least how I did. You can listen to the interview by clicking here, playing it using the audio player below, or you can read the lightly edited transcript of the interview just below the audio player.
Lightly Edited Transcript
Erin
Ashley: My name is Erin Ashley. I am about to kick out the jams, but
I got one little thing left to share with you. And that is about
graphic novel “the road to god knows…”, which introduces the
reader to teenage Marie. She’s trying to adjust to her mother’s
recent mental health diagnosis. Now, schizophrenia is a lonely
disease, and graphic novelist Von Allan is one unfortunate soul who
knows all about it. Growing up, Von and his mother suffered through
her mental illness, but the experience wasn’t completely negative.
After all, he was inspired to write “the road to god knows…”, a
semi-autobiographical comic which he hopes will help others living
with the disease. I got a hold of him via telephone, and this is what
he had to say.
I’m curious about the circumstances around publishing this
novel. Is this something you put out yourself, or did you have to
shop it around a little bit?
Von Allan: I actually put it out by myself. I did shop it around a
little bit. It’s a first book, and I’m an unknown creator, so
it’s hard right now in publishing to get people to pay attention to
you. And I didn’t shop it around to too many publishers, but I
decided, you know, you sort of go through the rejection process and
what have you, and it’s pretty difficult for any author, no matter
how successful they are. And I just went, “it’s a pretty personal
book for me. I’d like to be able to control it.” Aside from
anything else, it’s pretty autobiographical. So choosing this
route, doing the self-publishing route, seemed to fit it really well.
And so far the reception is pretty good. Nobody seems to care all
that much that I self-published it. So, “yay” for that!
Erin Ashley: Now, you’ve written “the road to god knows…”
to create a dialogue about mental illness. Why do you feel a graphic
novel was the best way to achieve this?
Von Allan: Well, I love comics. I’ve loved comics since I was
about seven or eight years old. And I think comics have a unique
power as a medium to actually communicate a little differently than
how prose does and how film does. There’s been a lot of different
discussion in the past about why comics work the way they do. Some
people do “right brain, left brain” theory, that there’s
something about the combination of words and pictures, and how they
sort of just get right into your head that’s remarkably powerful.
And more pragmatically, too, is when I was sort of trying to
figure out what story I wanted to do for my first one, it seemed to
be something that not very many other people have tackled. So, as
opposed to doing another superhero story or something like that
that’s been pretty well done to death in comics, doing something
more personal, doing something that not very many other people have
tried to tackle, seemed to be a really good way to go.
Erin Ashley: Yeah, definitely. I know it says in your bio that you
kind of dealt with a lot of the same things that Marie deals with in
the graphic novel. And you actually took solace and refuge in
basically the land of make-believe, like wrestling and comic books,
like you were saying earlier. So what was so comforting about that
land of make-believe?
Von Allan: I think the big thing is that it’s escape. I mean,
one of the things when you’re going through something like this —
I’m saying this now that I know this. I’m an adult and I
can look back on it and what have you, but the story is really
autobiographical, aside from the fact that the main character is a
girl. Things are really confusing. My mom wasn’t well. I didn’t
know why. My mom had went through a lot of nervous breakdowns while I
was growing up. And a lot of things didn’t make sense to me. And
that confusion is scary. I was scared a lot. I remember being really
terrified a lot. Not so much of my mom, but I didn’t understand
what would trigger things. I didn’t understand why these things
were happening to her. And I was totally powerless.
You know, it’s my mom. I love her. And this stuff is happening
and I can’t help. I don’t have the tools to help her. And
nobody’s talking to me either. Nobody in the healthcare profession
or what have you at the time was able to really communicate with me —
sort of push me aside or pull me aside —
and explain what was happening.
So, what do you do? You know, you’re going to school. You’re
trying to do this stuff and you try to live your life. And I found a
sort of happiness and joy in escapism. And I think a lot of kids
probably do. So, for me, it was comics. I was lucky enough to meet up
with friends who were really into comics and I just fell in love with
them. Stuff as silly as pro wrestling like the book talks about. Also
science fiction and what have you. It was just things where what was
going on was really confusing in my own life. So being able to just
sort of stop thinking about it, stop worrying about it, even if it’s
only for a couple of hours, did me a lot of good.
Erin Ashley: Okay. So what’s next for Von Allan?
Von Allan: Well, I mean, I’m trying to get this book out there
now. And at the same time, I’m working on my next story. So this is
going to be very different. It’s called “Stargazer.” And it’s
going to be more of a kid’s story with adult themes. So I’m a
little this way, you know. I always like doing stories that have
reasonably heavy subject matter. So it deals with a lot of themes of
death and letting go of things because that’s part of life, too.
It’s funny. When I tried to figure out what to do, I was
thinking, ‘what could I follow up “the road to god knows…”
with?’ And I wanted to do something at least thematically similar,
if not exactly the same thing. So “Stargazer” is a fantasy. But
ironically, it does actually tie into that, you know, how “road”
works as well. It’s just I had some more things to say.
Erin Ashley: And so when “Stargazer” going to hit shelves, do
you think?
Von Allan: I don’t know. I’m 60 pages in. It’s going to
start as a webcomic; barring anything weird happening, it will start
as a webcomic first. So for free online. And people can find more
about that in my website. And that should actually happen in the next
month or so. And then we’ll see if it’s popular enough. Then
it’ll become a book, as well.
Erin Ashley: Thanks a lot for joining me today, Von Allan.
Von Allan: Oh, you’re very welcome. Thanks for giving me your
time.
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